he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
