Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
