Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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