i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
