walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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