I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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