Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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