The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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