did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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