I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Randomize
