I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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