hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
