real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
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