So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
