You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
