About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
it hurts more in the daytime
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
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Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
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2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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