I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
