i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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