A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
