Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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