I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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