I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
