ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
