Christians are straight up FREAKS
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
