i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
