PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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