Im at strip club and am horny
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
