that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Enjoy the penises
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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