don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize