K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
