I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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