the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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