I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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