I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
this is an emotional support booty call
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
