You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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