love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
