he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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