Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
