Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
