Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
