is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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