sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
