I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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