So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
