And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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