Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
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No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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