Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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