i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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