4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
