Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize