Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
