We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
