Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
