She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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