Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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