i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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