Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
