four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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