Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
