Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
