so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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