he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
