K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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