I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
