dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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